एउटा प्रेरणादायी आत्माकथाः संसार बदल्नु छ भने पहिले आफुलाई बदलौँ ।

रातमा देखिने निष्पट्ट अन्धकार । विहान देखिने रातो क्षितिज  । दिउसो देखिने उज्यालो संसार । र साँझ देखिने मलिन सुर्यका किरणहरु । यो प्रकृतिको कस्तो नियम ? लाग्छ यस सुन्दर संसारमा सधै बाँच्न पाए कति राम्रो हुन्थ्यो । तर सबैले मर्नुपर्छ एक दिन । र मैले पनि मर्नुपर्छ । दुनियाको नियम यो कस्तो कुरुप ? कसैले पनि चाहेर पनि बाँच्न नपाउने । फेरी अर्को कति सुन्दर पनि छ ।  सोच्दा यो संसार यहि विविधताको कारणले त चलेको हो । मान्छे सधै भरी यस निर्दयी र स्वार्थी दुनियाँमा बस्नु नपर्ने । कस्तो राम्रो नियम छ है प्रकृतिको । जसरी तौलिदा पनि प्रकृतिको अकाट्य नियमलाई न चलाउन सकिन्छ , न फेरवदल गर्न सकिन्छ । हामी त यो समयसँगै निरन्तर वग्न मात्र सकिन्छ । 

हो सबै मर्छन् समय सकिएपछि  । प्राणीको त के कुरा ? पृथ्वी, ब्रम्हाण्ड, सुर्य, चन्द्र , तारा, ग्रह सबै मर्छन् ।  उपग्रह, भुउपग्रह सबै मर्छन् । यो नियम हो कि नचाहेर पनि मर्छन् । फेरी चाहेको बेला मर्न पनि पाउँदैनन् ।  । सबै बालक हुन्छन् । सबै जवान हुन्छन् । सबै बुढो हुन्छन् । अनि एक दिन सबैको इयलिला समाप्त हुन्छ । प्रणी जगत सबैको लागि जीवन उतिनै प्यारो हुन्छ र सबैलाई मृतुको डर पनि उतिनै हुन्छ । भोक, प्यास, दुखाई र पीडाको आभास बराबर हुन्छ । आजसम्म कयौ रात र दिनहरु बिते ? अब पनि वित्लान् ? तर एक रात थियो । जुन रात मैले मान्छे हुनुको पिडा अनुभुत गरेँ । संसारको दुःख आफ्नै आँखाले देखेँ । अनि मात्र मृत्युको भुत देवता भनेर छायो मनमा । 

त्यो दिन – जव म धर्तिका नियमहरु बुझ्दै थिएँ । विहान हुन्थ्यो । पहिले  कुखुराको भालेनै उठ्यो । ‘कुखुरी काँ..’ विरक्त लाग्नेगरी कुखुरा चिच्याउँथ्यो । अभागी कुखुराको भाले । अभागी यस कारणले कि ऊ पनि म जस्तै यो धर्तिमा दुःख भोग्न जन्मिएको थियो । कसरी चिमोठ्थ्थे उसलाई मान्छेहरु । कति रुन्थ्यो । कति चिच्याउँथ्यो । निर्दयी मान्छेहरुले कहाँ सुन्थे र उसका आर्तना र पुकारलाई । नोमोठेर चोक्टा चोक्टा बनाएर खान्थे स्वाद मानी मानी । मान्छेहरु कुखुराको पहिलो डाँकोलाई विहानीको संकेत भन्थे । चराहरु बाँसका झाङ्हरुबाट हल्ला गर्थे । अनि मान्छेहरु उठ्थे । 

रात आदि बाँकिनै छँदा आईमाईहरु घरधन्दामा लागिसक्थे । लोग्ने मान्छेहरु पनि झिसमिसेमै उठ्थे । खेतबारी तिर झर्थे । पहिले माटोसँग मित्रता गाँस्थे । अनि सामिप्यतासँगै युद्ध गर्थे । घाम, पानी, भोक र तिर्खाको प्रवाह नगरी । माटोसँगै संघर्ष गर्थे । माटोमै पसिना रोप्थे । 

मनभरी सुनौलो सपना सजाउँथे । बाली पाकेको सपना । घर भित्र्याएको सपना । बालबच्चालाई पेटभरी खुवाएको सपना । दिनभरी काम गरेर बेलुका घर फर्कन्थे ।  मेसिन जस्तै चल्दा चल्दा थाक्थे होलान् ? एक गाँस च्यापेर भुसुक्क निदाउँथे । भोली हुन्थ्यो । उही दैनिकी सुरु । खेतबारी । कुटोकोदालो । भारी, अभाव, दुःख, पसिना । गतिलो खाएको दिन हुन्नथ्यो । रहर लाग्दो लाएको पनि दिन हुन्न थ्यो । लाग्थ्यो माटोमा मिलेका उनीहरुको इच्छा र चाहना कहिल्यै फर्कन्न् त ? 

जो धेरै काम गर्छ उसैले खान पेटभरी खान नपाउने  ? यो कुनै नियम हो ? श्रमिक किसानका उसैका बालबच्चाहरु जाडोमा समेत एक जोर न्यानो लुगा नपाएर तड्पिन्थे । कस्तो असमानता हो यो । जुत्ता चप्पल किन्ने पैसा नभएर नाङ्गो गोडा तुसारोमा पटपट फुटाउँदै हिड्थे । के काम क्षितिज पारी खुलेका जुत्ता कारखानाहरु ? के काम हरेक दिन व्यापारको लागि भित्रने करोडौका न्याना कपडाहरुको । के काम राज्यका सत्ता सञ्चालन गरेर बसेका नेताहरुको ? के काम राज्यसत्ताको ? 

नेपोलियन बोनापार्ट भन्छन् । असंम्भव भन्ने चिज मुर्खको डायरीमा मात्र हुन्छ  । चायो भने मान्छेले जे पनि गर्न सक्छ । र कामको जिम्मा नलिदासम्म दुःख नभोग्दा । जो पनि कमजोर देखिन्छ । केहि नजानेको जस्तो देखिन्छ ।  आफ्नो जिम्मामा आएपछि जस्तो जोखिम पनि उठाउन सक्छ । यो मान्छेको विशेषता हो । मेरो अधुरो सपना छ मान्छेको दुःखलाई सुखमा बदल्ने । के मेरो यो स्वप्निल चाहना पुरा होला त ? 

ती दिनहरुमा हामीले सबै वर्गीय समाजको अन्त्य गर्नको लागि खुब दुःख भोग्यौ । जस्तोसुकै जोखिम पनि उठायौँ  । युद्ध मात्र गरेनौ ध्वङ्स मात्र गरेनौ । निर्माण पनि ग¥यौँ । व्यवस्थापनका कयौ समस्याहरु क्षणभरमै हल ग¥यौँ । ठूला ठूला मुद्दा केहि क्षणमै फस्योट गथ्र्यौँ । बलत्कारीलाई भाँटा हानेरै पिडितलाई क्षतिपूर्ति भराउँथ्यौ । दाईजो र बहु विवाहको मुद्दा केही बेरमै छिन्थ्यौ । दोषिलाई जनअदालतमा उभ्याएरै अन्यायमा परेकालाई न्याय दिन्थ्यौँ ।  जाँड रक्सी खाँएर घरमा श्रीमती कुट्नेलाई रामधुलाई गथ्यौँ । जग्गा र अंश सम्बन्धि मुद्दा त कति मिलायौ कति । कानुन नपढी न्यायधिस समेत भएका थियौँ । 

न्याय र समानताको पक्षमा खरो उत्रिने भएर होला हाम्रो पार्टीले मुद्दा फाँटको जिम्मा बढी मलाईनै दिन्थ्यो  । कति चाँडो युद्धले परिपक्व बनाएको थियो । आफैलाई पनि विस्वास नलाग्ने गरी  । मलाई मात्र होर ? कयौँ युवायुवतीहरु खारिदै थिए वर्गसंघर्षको भट्टीमा । नेतृत्वको एक कासनमा देश र जनताको लागि आहुति दिन तयार थियौ । एक दिन यस्तै कासन आयो । ठ्याक्कै कहाँबाट हो थाहा छैन । चुरे पहाडको फेदीतिरबाट होला ? नेपालमा वर्गिय समस्यानै प्रमुख समस्या हो । जबजम्म यहाँ गरिबीको अन्त्य गरिदैन तबसम्म कुनैपनि समस्या हल हुँदैन । 

आजभन्दा पन्द्र बीस बर्ष अगाडि हामी समाजमा सकारात्मक परिबर्तन ल्याउनको लागि राजनीतिक लडाईमा भाग लिएका थियौँ । तर आजभोली समय फेरीयो । नेपालमा जनयुद्धको  प्रभावले जनताको लागि समाज अलि प्रतिकुल बन्दै गयो । समयसँगै मान्छेका सोचाईहरु पनि फेरिए । केटीहरु पनि केटाहरु भन्दा सक्षम हुन थाले । 

मान्छेको लागि उपलब्ध हुने स्वतन्त्रतानै एउटा सक्षमता रहेछ । महिला सक्षम हुनु भनेको पुरुष पनि सक्षम हुनु हो । महिलाहरु आर्थिक रुपमा सवल हुनु भनेको  पुरुषहरु पनि सवल हुनु हो । महिलाले पनि कमाई गर्न थालेपछि पुरुषहरुलाई मात्र एकातर्फि भार पर्दैन । आर्थिक भार कम हुँदै गएपछि जीवन जीउन सहज हुँदै जान्छ । 

सामाजिक रुपमा महिलाहरु  सक्षम र स्वतन्त्र भए भने पुरुषहरुमा निर्भर रहनु पर्दैन । जसरी पनि धेरै कमाउनुपर्ने । भ्रष्टाचार गरेर भएपनि सम्पत्ति जोड्नुपर्ने बाध्यता हटेर जान्छ । साथै अपराधिक गतिविधि पनि कम भएर जान्छ । आर्थिक  बोझ कम हुँदै गएपछि गैर कानुनी तरिकाबाट पैसा कमाउनु पर्दैन । अझ महिलाहरु ट्यालेन्ट हुँदा परिवारै पाल्ने क्षमता राख्छन् । 

यसरी पुरुषहरुले मात्र परिवार पाल्नुपर्ने एकोहोरो भार हटेर जान्छ । सामाजिक र पारिवारीक बन्दनले कसेर पो महिलाका क्षमता मकिएर कमजोर जस्तो देखिएको हो । फेरी पनि म सम्पूर्ण महिला दिदीबैनीहरुलाई हात जोडेर भन्छु । तपाई सक्षम, निडर र आत्मा विस्वासी बन्नुहोस् । हामीलेनै देश, समाज र विश्वको नकारात्मक पक्षहरुलाई हटाउने क्षमता राख्दछौँ । 

Total darkness seen at night. The red horizon seen in the morning. The bright world seen in the afternoon. And the dim rays of the evening sun. What kind of law is this? I wish I could live in this beautiful world forever. But everyone must die one day. And I should die too. How ugly is the law of the world? No one is allowed to live even if they want to. Again, how beautiful it is.

I think this world is run because of this diversity. People do not have to live in this cruel and selfish world forever. What a good law of nature. In the same way, the irrefutable laws of nature cannot be manipulated or altered. We can only continue with this time.

Yes, everyone dies after the time is up. What about creatures? The earth, the universe, the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets all die.

Satellites, satellites all die. It is a rule that they die unintentionally. Again, they cannot die when they want to. . All are children. Everyone is young. Everyone gets old.

And one day everyone's Ilila ends. Life is equally dear to everyone in the animal kingdom and everyone is equally afraid of death. Feelings of hunger, thirst, pain and suffering are equal. Many nights and days till today Gone? Even now? But there was a night. That night I felt the pain of being human. I saw the sorrow of the world with my own eyes. And only the ghost of death is in my mind.

That day - when I was understanding the laws of the earth. It was morning. First the rooster crows. ‘Where is the chicken ..’ The chicken would shout annoyed. The cock of the unfortunate chicken.

Unfortunate because he is like me He was born to suffer on earth. How people hugged him. How much he cried I used to shout a lot. Where ruthless people listened to his cries and cries. Nomother chokta chokta was eaten to taste. People used to call the first bite of a chicken a sign of dawn. The birds were chirping from the bamboo bushes. And people would get up.

With the rest of the night, the women were busy with housework. Men also used to get up in a hurry. Farming Fell towards They used to be friends with the soil. And fought with proximity. Without the flow of sun, water, hunger and thirst. They struggled with the soil. Sweat was planted in the soil.

I used to decorate my heart with golden dreams. The dream of ripening crops. The dream of entering the house. The dream of feeding a child. After working all day, he would return home in the evening. Tired of running like a machine? He slept soundly after grabbing a goose. It would happen tomorrow. The same diary started. Farming. Kutokodalo. Heavy, lacking, sad, sweating. It was not a fast day. It was not a day to bring interest. I thought their desires and desires would never return.

The one who works hard can't eat enough? Is this a rule? The children of the working peasants were suffering even in winter without a warm garment. What an inequality this is. Without money to buy shoes and slippers, he used to walk barefoot in the frost.

Do shoe factories open on the horizon? Of work Millions of warm clothes for business every day. What is the role of the leaders in power? What is the role of the state power?

Says Napoleon Bonaparte. The impossible is only in the fool's diary. People can do anything they want. And not suffering until you take charge of the work. Whoever looks weak. Like not knowing anything It seems. It can also be a risky endeavor. This is a characteristic of human beings. My unfulfilled dream is to turn people's sorrow into happiness. Will my dream come true?

In those days we suffered so much to end all class society. Whatever risk we took. You didn't just wage war, you just destroyed. We also went to the construction. Many management problems in an instant We solved it. The big issues were solved in a few moments.

You used to compensate the victim by throwing the bowl to the rapist. The issue of dowry and polygamy was soon raised. We used to bring the guilty to the people's court and give justice to those who were wronged. After drinking alcohol, we beat Ramdhu at home. How many issues related to land and share have been settled? We even became judges without studying law.

Probably because our party would stand up for justice and equality, it would have given me more responsibility for the issue. How much The early war had matured. Unbelievable even to myself. Just me Many young people were being burned in the furnace of class struggle. You were ready to sacrifice for the country and the people in a coup d'etat.

One day a similar incident took place. I don't know exactly where it is from. Probably from the foot of Chure hill? The class problem is the major problem in Nepal. No problem will be solved unless poverty is eradicated here.

Fifteen or twenty years ago today, we took part in the political battle to bring about positive change in society. But today the time has changed. Due to the impact of the people's war in Nepal, the society became a little unfavorable for the people. Over time, that is likely to change. Girls also became more capable than boys.

The freedom that is available to people is an ability. Being capable of women means being able of men as well Yes To make women financially strong is to make men strong too. When women start earning, men are not the only ones to bear the burden. As the financial burden decreases, life becomes easier.

If women are socially capable and independent, they will not have to depend on men. You have to earn a lot anyway. Even through corruption, the obligation to amass wealth is removed. Also, criminal activity has decreased Goes There is no need to make money illegally as the financial burden is reduced. Moreover, when women have talent, they have the ability to raise a family.

In this way, only men have to take care of the family. Due to social and family ties, women's ability seems to be weakened. Again, I join hands with all the women sisters. You become capable, fearless and soul believing. We have the ability to remove the negative aspects of the country, society and the world.